If you been following the news about the housing bailout there is much to be concerned about, and much to be angry about about if you’re one of the poor saps that was responsible enough to buy a house you could afford in a market that was not ridiculously overpriced. There are quite a few ideas and quotes in the papers that make me want to scream. But I think this one left me the most dumbfounded:
[Housing counselors] say that interest-rate reductions alone may not be enough to help many borrowers. "For about half the clients that come in to us, an interest-rate reduction down to zero" isn't going to save them from onerous debt…
Half his clients have loans for such large amounts that even if they were given ridiculous, nearly impossible loans they still would be unable to make the payments? Even if someone gave them free money for thirty years they still can’t swing it? Even with loan terms unobtainable by the US government, they’ll be laboring under “onerous debt?” Then let me go out on a limb and say that it’s not worth wasting one minute of time, one penny of treasure or even one column-inch in the WSJ to save these people because they’re irretrievably screwed.
Maybe these people are in the wrong line of work. Maybe they should be… actors. Why not? These people took loans that, from the moment the ink was dry, cost more than they could afford. They actually signed on for a crippling debt load that was slowly draining their bank account right from day one. In other words, these people are so comically stupid that by comparison the average Jim Carrey character would look like a giant pulsating brain with psychic powers. These people would make the best lowbrow comedy movies the world has ever seen! They’d make movies of such dumbfounding moronicity that even Mensa members would laugh, in pain if nothing else.
Sure, they can’t all make movies. Even supernaturally-funny lowbrow comedy would wear thin eventually. So after that, reality TV. It has got to be funny to watch people like this try to “live” their daily lives. It would be like a live feed from Fail Blog. And worst case, they’re clearly stupid enough to sign on as the “star” of the new hit show “Ow, My Balls!”
Given time, America can rebuild its economy based on our newfound, nearly inexhaustible natural resources of un-fucking-believable stupidity. The West shall rise again!