Napalm on Firewater

When I'm lying down on the couch to watch some TV or read, I like to enjoy an adult beverage. For convience sake I usually put said beverage on the floor next to the couch. This occasionally causes the usual, predictable problems: spilled drinks, wet rugs, sometimes even a wet blanket edge. But last night I discovered a new hazard - drunken cats.

Last night my beverage was a nice glass of bourbon (Maker's Mark, if you must know), and as usual it was resting on the floor next to couch. The cats, Napalm and Mithril, were napping on the high back of the couch.

By way of background, Napalm is an young, orange cat. His name is doubly appropriate, referring both to his orange color and fiery disposition. His disposition also explains his other nicknames, "Evil Kitten" and "Bitey Face"

So, back one the couch, all was well until Napalm decided to depart. He leaped from the back of the couch, completely over me and landed squarely in my on the floor, sending bourbon and ice flying everywhere. Naturally he was shocked and sprinted off to somewhere, leaving me to sop up whisky from the rug and curse my poor luck. But no major harm was done, Wendy & I made a few jokes about drunken felines and went back to watching Scrubs.

Little did we know how accurate those jokes were. It turns out his front leg has been thoroughly soaked and much of his chest fur was damp with whisky as well. While we watched TV, he cleaned himself and got thoroughly hammered in the process.

On our way to bed we found him wandering slowly across the living room with incredibly huge pupils. He's apparently a happy drunk - I was able to hold him on his back and rub his belly for several minutes, which would've normally caused quite a bit of biting and hissing but last night he just sat still and tried to pass out on my arm. Just for fun I dropped him onto the bed feet down from about 2 feet up -- he barely managed to stay standing, and then just folded down into a sitting position.

As funny as all this is, please don't try this at home. It's possibly animal abuse, and it's definitely bourbon abuse!

Other pictures of Napalm before he became an alcoholic can be found here.